[T3] VW Credo

["Erkson, Toby" <toby.erkson@intel.com>]

<x-charset iso-8859-1>>From my girlfriend...
-----Original Message-----
...And I think you adhere to almost every one of these below! ;-) 
Love you! 
Jaymie 

 VW Owner's Credo 
(Raise your right hand and repeat after me) 
I am a Volkswagen owner and solemnly swear to: 
     Make sure that valves are adjusted by myself each and every 3000 miles
or 3 months whichever comes first. 
     Change the oil, myself, every 3000 miles or every 3 months whichever
comes first. 
     I will occasionally thumb my nose at the various 'quickie' oil/lube
places when I pass them by. 
     Never lug or race the engine on uphills or downhills. 
     Lay awake at night thinking about what that noise was when I drove home
from work today. 
     Always include something about VWs in almost every conversation with my
SO [Significant Other]. 
     Take the ribbing, cussing and screaming that my SO gives me for the
previously mentioned act. 
     For at least 30 minutes a week I will lay on my back underneath my VW
talking to it and myself and contemplate future maintenance and modification
for it. 
     Make sure that my greasy garage cloths are kept separate from the rest
of the laundry. 
     Have at least 3 manuals devoted to my VWs model year. 
     Keep my greasy 'mitts' off of my SO's clean towels. 
     Be damn sure to wear my 'car working' clothes and not my good ones when
I proceed to do any work on my car. 
     I will keep a set of 'car working' clothes or coveralls in my VW at all
times for emergency repair work. 
     I will keep a tube or tub of hand cleaner in my VW at all times. 
     That the top ten items on my Christmas/Birthday/Anniversary list are VW
related. 
     Make sure that any gifts I buy my SO are not VW related. 
     At least 3 of my shirts and hats have some kind of VW emblem on them. 
     I know all of the VW FLAPS [Friendly Local Auto Parts Store] in town
and have memorized all of their phone numbers. 
     Own a torque wrench and understand how to use it. 
     Keep a record book of my VWs maintenance history. 
     Show that record book to everyone that comes over as if were pictures
of a brand new baby. 
     Explain to my SO that my VW is my baby. 
     Learn to recite in your head your VWs entire maintenance schedule so
you can do it while brushing your teeth. 
     Know that there is no such thing as 'borrowing oil'. 
     Know exactly how many miles you have left to drive before you run out
of gas. 
     Have all the necessary parts and tools ready for when you break down. 
     Know all the phone numbers you need to call if you can't fix it. 
     Learn how to sleep in my VW. 
     Learn how to push my VW. 
     Learn how to drive my VW with a broken clutch cable. 
     Learn to keep a spare clutch cable in my VW. 
     Make sure the top 5 numbers on all my phone lists are VW related. 
     My desk at work has VW related items on it. 
     Make sure that when anyone at my work has a problem with their VW, I am
the first person they call. 
     Be the only one to add or take any fluids to or from my VW. 
     And finally, understand that I am a VW nut and not everyone can
comprehend this...ability...and cannot understand why I eat, drink, breath,
stink and sleep Volkswagens.  I can only accept that I do and therefore,
will act and behave accordingly.

So (please) help me [insert your deity here]. 

(You may now lower your right hand :) 

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