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Re: no no


DanielB=> I think we must have a kind of
=> interdimensional vortex

We've studied this phenomenon, and we think it's related to the 'gremlin' or
'little furry creature' theory. After years of painstaking research we have
developed a more refined theory, in which we identify a quality of matter,
in addition to Mass, Charge, Velocity and Smell, which we call Perversity.

As we all know intuitively, matter is naturally perverse, as seen in the
preference of any rope, line, hose or electrical cable for tangling itself
up and snagging any possible obstruction. In the case of small parts, it
appears that acceleration of matter in a gravitational field endows it with
a rudimentary awareness and increases perversity. So, given that little
boost, a small part in a fall will naturally orient itself to scoot into the
nearest dark cranny or as far as possible under the most massive object in
range. (The stresses inherent in spring steel give it especially high
awareness and perversity, leading to purposeful launching.)

Perversity increases with the complexity of the object and how badly it is
needed, so there is clearly a psychometric component related to humans: if
you don't need it, you're constantly tripping over it, but as soon as you
need it, it disappears. As seen in the example Daniel cited, needed hand
tools actually develop the capacity for camoflage nearly as effective as the
Klingon cloaking device. One need not even mention the many ways objects as
complex as automobiles can demonstrate perversity.

For our part, it's also clear that humans have direct awareness of the
psychometric charge that we are building on an object and its consequent
rise in perversity. The reader need only recall how many times, for example,
you have been fiddling with a small part and you thought, "I shouldn't do it
this way, this thing is gonna go ... uh-oh."

The strategies for coping with perversity revolve around reducing our need
for an object and the related psychometric charge (such as maintaining two
functionally identical tool boxes), as well as circumspect planning for
inevitable perversity and setting up barriers and traps. Magnets are natural
perversity traps; we believe that ferrous metals may be attracted to magnets
in much the same way as some humans are drawn to Sun Myung Moon, their
native perversity realigned to a greater perversity.

We are continuing research into the hypothesis that gravity and perversity
are closely related, and may actually be two flavors of the same force.
Perversity on a planetary scale is clearly a force to be reckoned with.

Steven Ayres, Director of Research
Steven's Physiometric Labs and Storm Door Company, Prescott AZ

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