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[T3] What your car says about you


  
  Not prexactly T3 stuff, but thoŒ|&› might enjoy it.
  
  Note that the VW T3 is absent.  Okay, make up your own and share it 
  with us...
  
  Phil
  dillard@suu.edu
  
  ---------------------------------------------------------------------
  
  "What Your Car Says About You"
  A collection of cars and a description of the people who drive 
  them.
  
  Acura Integra: I have always wanted to own the Buick of Japanese sport
  sedans
  
  AMG Hummer: I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole
  
  Buick Park Avenue: I am older than 34 of the 50 states
  
  Cadillac Catera: I learned nothing from the Cimarron
  
  Cadillac Eldorado: I am a pimp
  
  Cadillac Deville: I am a very good Mary Kay Salesperson
  
  Chevrolet Camaro: I enjoy beating up people
  
  Chevrolet Caprice: I enjoy having people slow to 55 mph and 
  change lanes when I pull up behind them
  
  Chevrolet Cavalier coupe: I start 11th grade in the fall
  
  Chevrolet Chevette: I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them
  I have a 'vette.
  
  Chevrolet Corvette: I am having a mid-life crisis
  
  Chevrolet El Camino: I am leading a militia to overthrow the 
  government
  
  Chevrolet Tracker: I start 12th grade in the fall
  
  Chrysler Cordoba: I like seeing people's reactions when I tell 
  them I have a Mercedes Benz product.
  
  Citroen 2CV: I think your car looks funny, too
  
  Datsun 280Z: I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
  
  Dodge Aries: I teach third grade special education and I voted 
  for George Bush
  
  Dodge Diplomat: I used to enjoy having people slow to 55 mph and
  change lanes when I pull up behind them
  
  Dodge Durango: I will not be caught dead in a Ford Explorer
  
  Dodge Neon: I cannot stand the Macarena
  
  Dodge Power Wagon: I am leading a militia to overthrow the 
  government
  
  Ford Crown Victoria: I enjoy having people slow to 55 mph and 
  change lanes when I pull up behind them
  
  Ford Explorer: I will not be caught dead in a minivan
  
  Ford Mustang 5.0: I slow down to 85 in school zones
  
  Ford Mustang 2ÁfÿÉoid Yugos and VW microbuses at the 
  stoplights
  
  Ford Ranchero: I am leading a Militia to overthrow the government
  
  Ford Tempo: I teach fourth grade special education and I voted 
  for Bill Clinton
  
  Honda Civic: I just graduated and have no credit at all
  
  Honda Accord: I lack originality and am basically a lemming
  
  Hyundai Accent: I delivered pizza for years in order to get this car
  
  Hyundai Tiburon: I miss the tasteful, conservative and 
  understated styling of the 1974 AMC Matador
  
  Infiniti Q45: I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending
  
  Isuzu I-Mark: I have always wanted a Japanese car even more 
  inferior than the Daihatsu
  
  Jaguar XJS V-12: I am so rich I will pay $60,000.00 for a car 
  that is in the shop 280 days of the year
  
  Kia Sephia: I learned nothing from the Asian economic crisis
  
  Lexus LS400: I am the lawyer suing the owner of the Infiniti Q45
  
  Lincoln Navigator: I don't bother comparing gas prices
  
  Lincoln Town Car: I live for bingo and covered supper dishes
  
  Mazda Miata: I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-
  wheeler
  
  Mercury Grand Marquis: I live for bridge and covered supper 
  dishes
  
  Mercedes 600SL: I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
  
  Mercedes 600SEL: I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named 
  Cole
  
  MGB: I am dating a mechanic
  
  Nissan Altima: I don't know what it means, either
  
  Nissan Maxima: I am still in the closet
  
  Nissan 300ZX: I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings
  
  Oldsmobile Cutlass: I just stole this car and I'm going to make 
  a fortune off the parts
  
  Oldsmobile Cutlass Cruiser: I get carsick driving minivans
  
  Oldsmobile Delta 88 Diesel: I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted 
  List
  
  Plymouth Neon: I enjoy the Macarena
  
  Pontiac Trans Am: I have a switchblade in my sock
  
  Porsche 928: I am dating big-haired women who would otherwise be
  inaccessable to me
  
  Range Rover: I do not care about J.D. Powers or his surveys
  
 µ@Yoyce Silver Shadow: I think Maggie Thatcher is a touch 
  too Whig for me
  
  Rover 3500: I am married to a mechanic
  
  Saturn SL1: I hope someday to make it to a gathering in Spring 
  Hill
  
  Saturn SL2: I made it to a gathering in Spring Hill
  
  Toyota Camry: I have always wanted to own the Oldsmobile of 
  Japanese family sedans
  
  Volkswagen Beetle: I still watch Partridge Family reruns
  
  Volkswagen Cabriolet: I am out of the closet
  
  Volkswagen Jetta: I enjoy putting out engine fires
  
  Volkswagen Microbus: I am tripping right now
  
  Volkswagen New Beetle: I still watch Partridge Family reruns
  
  Volvo 740 Wagon: I am afraid of my wife
  
  Yugo GV: I miss the rugged durability of the Moskvitch 
  




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