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VW Marketing Double-Talk


What VW as a manufacturer thinks about.......enjoy the humour....

NEW -   Different color from previous design
ALL NEW -   Parts not interchangeable with previous design
EXCLUSIVE -   Imported product
UNMATCHED -   Almost as good as the competition
DESIGNED SIMPLICITY -   Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone
FOOLPROOF OPERATION -   No provision for adjustments
ADVANCED DESIGN -   The advertising agency doesn't understand it
IT'S HERE AT LAST! -   Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming
FIELD-TESTED -   Manufacturer lacks test equipment
HIGH ACCURACY -   Unit on which all parts fit
DIRECT SALES ONLY -   Factory had big argument with distributor
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT -   We finally got one that works
REVOLUTIONARY -   It's different from our competitors
BREAKTHROUGH -   We finally figured out a way to sell it
FUTURISTIC -   No other reason why it looks the way it does
DISTINCTIVE -   A different shape and color than the others
MAINTENANCE-FREE -   Impossible to fix
RE-DESIGNED -   Previous faults corrected, we hope...
HAND-CRAFTED -   Assembly machines operated without gloves on
PERFORMANCE PROVEN -   Will operate through the warranty period
MEETS ALL STANDARDS -   Ours, not yours
ALL SOLID-STATE -   Heavy as Hell!
BROADCAST QUALITY -   Gives a picture and produces noise
HIGH RELIABILITY -   We made it work long enough to ship it
SMPTE BUS COMPATIBLE -   When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound
NEW GENERATION -   Old design failed, maybe this one will work
MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS -   We got a good deal at a government auction
CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY -   You can return it from most 
airports
UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE -   Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way
BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES -   We finally got it to fit together
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED -   Manufacturer's, upon cashing your check
MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED -   Does things we can't explain



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